Season 2, Episode 21: First Date

Maybe Basketball preempted New Girl or something but for some reason I didn't get it on Hulu until today. Oh the humanity.

Oh the akwardity. I did kind of like Jess and Nick confronting the ridiculous nature of their lives. There are still moments on this show where it gets too absurd. Not every show can be Always Sunny. Upper boob is a little strange. 

Hey they brought back the old dude in the park. I wonder if somebody is going swimming.

Jake Johnson is having a good time doing this one sided conversation. They did a good job making him look sweaty.

Heyyyy Winston got a Ford Escape just like me! I hope somebody calls my car a Foscapay sometime soon. Way to product place Ford!

I love flashback scenes to Fat Schmidt and Winnie. Nick is the glue, they aren't wrong. I have the same misgivings that the rest of the gang do.

Oh shit he even has the same color! FOSCAPAY!

Classy Nick is lame. Can you really get charged $340 for stepping off the curb? He didn't even cross the street. Poor Nick so nervous.

Oh man its good to see old Dermot Mulroney, this episode has a lot of highlights but kind of a crappy plot. New Girl has always done a good job with the guest stars.

Schmidt did the bumper kick, I feel like my car is a costar in this episode.

I don't agree that a singing, shirtless, homeless fat man would be bad on a date. Thats a story you could share forever. Or at least you could tell your next date about. Hey its Steve Agee.

Aw this is a nice date now. Its not good for the show, but its a good date.

I don't really like the recurring jaywalking joke. Unless they do something more with it its just boring.

I don't like Dermot's hair though, its like a hockey mullet. I do like how much Nick loves Russel. Why do people on TV always have shitty cell phones. Nick has the same shitty flip phone my mom has had for ten years.

Okay I laughed when the motorcycle fell over.

This card thing sucks, I wish they would just do it or shut up. I think I'm going to get my wish, unfortunately. Or maybe not. Stupid tension.

This episode was really frustrating. I feel like they are just dinking around before some big reveal for the season finale.

Season 2, Episode 20: Chicago

I feel like my reviews have gotten too "stream of consciousness" lately without offering enough real criticism. So before I begin the episode I would like to recap my important feelings on the direction of New Girl and where I perceive it going.

 A good comedy, for me and perhaps generally, depends on a good ensemble of characters who are both distinct and funny in different ways but they must also have enough depth for the audience to relate to them as real people. When New Girl launched I felt that the characters were too shallow, Jess was too weird, Schmidt too much of a jackass bro. Nick was too average and normal. It wasn't believable that any of the characters would have anything to do with each other. Why would Nick have spent the last ten years living with Schmidt when he was so annoying that I wanted to hit him with my car? Why is nerdy pixie dream girl best friends with a fashion model?
Since the pilot however they have done a good job bringing each of the characters to a good level where they are both funny and believable as friends. Jess has stopped her most annoying traits, Schmidt's behavior is tempered by his insecurities enough to be endearing, Nick has been revealed as the slovenly curmudgeon (Winston still has no character, poor Winston).  They found a good balance so that the show would be tolerable. The question then becomes how do they move forward?

Initially I thought that creating romantic tension between Nick and Jess was a bad idea. Where Cece is basically a secondary character to the show so her relationship with Schmidt was actually a good plot arc, having two of the main roommate characters become romantically involved seemed like a bad idea to me. It changes the dynamic of their group of friends. Nobody wants the Nick and Jess show, especially not at this point. I feel that for an ensemble show to introduce a romantic relationship between two of their existing major characters all the characters need to have strong plot lines so the show doesn't just become a show about their relationship. Jim and Pam didn't get together for several seasons, neither did Chandler and Monica. I felt like New Girl was jumping the gun. However given how they have handled Nick and Jess over the course of the past five episodes I have to commend them. What you fear when major characters hook up is the incessant awkwardness of "will they or wont they" and New Girl has responded by making that awkwardness ridiculous and exaggerated. By making it as weird as possible New Girl has actually prevented the relationship being the only thing the show is about.

Now on to the episode:

Maybe I'm a child but helium voice cracks me up. That was a really cheap setup but the payoff was pretty funny.
I don't really want a very special episode of this show, especially on this particular subject. We'll see how much I write on this one.

Hey look its Nick Kroll and Bill Burr, things are looking up. Kroll is doing like a modified Bobby Bottle Service or something, I hope it gets either more or less ridiculous because right now its a little painful.

Hey its Margo Martindale too, she was so good on Justified. "Winny and Fat Schmidt" killed me.

"Do it college" guest stars are doing good work. I hope they bring back Kroll in a less emotional episode later on. Nick's goombah brother comes to visit would be a good episode.

Schmidt has a good writer for his one liners "Look at all these buttons Winston, I look like a remote control." is such a good throwaway line. Im a little tired of Schmidt freakouts though.

"Long Island son" also was pretty good. Nick getting drunk was pretty much expected, I kind of assume he gets drunk and everybody else is drunk too.

I'm glad Winston gets a little scene here, he doesn't get enough to do on this show.

Oh no.

Im mad at them for doing this Elvis bit. That's a step beyond reality. I have never heard this elvis song. I have heard Too $hort's classic, maybe its a cover.

This was the natural end to this show, pretty obvious. Jake Johnson is doing a pretty solid dramatic scene. I feel like comedy actors do a better job moving to drama than the other way around.

Oh good, we will get to come back to Chicago for Kroll's wedding. The punch to the gut was good too.

Pretty good episode, although its too bad Dennis Farina wont be coming back again.

Season 2 Episode 19: Quick Hardening Caulk

Surprisingly a new episode this week. I don't know if I can get on board with a "caulk" joke. Oh FOX you are so edgy. I have to say having a couple week break from writing these was refreshing. I brought back my joy in being ambivalent about this show. 

Hey Schmidt shut up, I loved the Hobbit. I almost bought it at the store yesterday even though I know there will be an extended edition that I will buy instantly.

As much as I don't think a romance between Jess and Nick will be good for the show, the quick cut to the bathroom scene with Cece was pretty funny.

Its nice to see Odette Annable in something, I thought she was okay on House. I watch Chicago fire and its so weird seeing Jesse Spencer doing and American accent, he isn't very good at it. I also always thought Odette Annable last name was "Annabell" I wonder how its actually pronounced?

Do you really have to go to business school to manage a bar? That would make me sad if I had gone to business school.

Why cant Schmidt live alone? I don't think its financial, although LA is expensive. He has a good amount of money.

California Lion Fish are pretty sweet looking.

The Home Depot segment was pretty funny. I don't know if women find comically indicating ones genitals that arousing, maybe one of you single types can try it out and let me know.

This Schmidt plot is dumb.

I have been on a variety of pain meds over the years as a clumsy rugby player with kidney stones, not a single one of them has made me feel drunk like Jess is. Dilaudid might have been a little close, but still mostly just sleepy. They are really going for the comical injuries now. Nobody serves soup so hot that you need a bandage if you stick your hand in it.

I'm pretty sure Lion Fish are also venomous. 

I don't like this scene at the bar at all. 

The scene between Winston and Cece was pretty good though, sappy, but pretty good.

Well this scene will be awkward, but it does make me want to go upstairs and want ice cream. This episode has a real scenes and not as much zany. I feel like they are even shot a little differently.

Oh no, this is terrible.

I'd like to say that I called the aquarium breaking, but it was pretty obvious.

I feel like completely ending the Schmidt Cece relationship will really take Cece out of the show, at least for a while.

A relatively momentous episode, but ultimately unsatisfying.

Season 2, Episode 18: TinFinity

I didn't post last weeks review on facebook, I probably will today because some people said they missed it. In the future I'm going to phase out of posting these on facebook, maybe Ill tweet them instead.

Nick is obviously Bert, I feel like that decent joke could just have gone unsaid.

Cece asks an important question "Why are we friends with these guys Jess? What happened?" As I have said before they don't really explain why Jess doesn't have any other friends. If movies and TV are any indication a manic pixie dream girl like her should have dudes falling all over her and some shitty band (just like Zooey Descahnel does in real life).

That was bad frosting continuity, the amount of frosting clearly went down and then went back up.

I got a pair of pants that had instructions not to wash them recently - I immediately spilled food on them and washed them.

I do like the mocking of bus stations, buses and public transportation in general.

Gross a man with a pony tail. "Jax McTavish" is a pretty funny and ridiculous name though. Oh its the guy who plays Kevin on Shameless, this is the second time I haven't recognized him on a different show, maybe the kicks to the head during rugby practice are starting to effect me.

It's odd but possibly realistic how Nick alternates between the normal responsible one and the completely helpless man baby. I mean I just set up auto pay on my amex to be responsible, but that's so I can use it to buy comic books later. Two sides, same coin.

Its strange when you realize that an actor was a series regular on a show that lasted 7 years that you completely forgot existed. Steve Howey aka "Jax McTavish" was on Reba for its entire run, reminding me a show called Reba existed at all. It starred Reba McEntire, a person I forgot ever was born. Who knew!

Whens dorky Indian dude with an English accent taking a hike? I'm assuming it will eventually set up a Cece leaving him at the alter for a tryst with Schmidt.

My cousin had one of those Bano Presidente things at her wedding, they are pretty nice.

The random touch football game in dress clothes was bizarre and contrived. Maybe its an ode to The Room's tuxedo football scene, but really lets raise our standards a bit here New Girl.

I'm glad Robbie came to the party. Lets get real though, if a dude just needs to pee he will pee anywhere.

I really hope this pony tail doesn't become a series regular, its pretty gross. Looks like I don't have to worry about that.

I still don't think Nick should be as poor as he is, bartenders aren't that broke or there wouldn't be so many bars. This Nick/Schmidt confrontation is just leading to future awkwardness, I don't approve.

Little Indian guy should be excited, hes like three feet tall.

Poor Schmidt, I stand by my Cece leaves Indian dwarf at the altar though.

The future awkwardness happened, it was just different. "I met my third wife" was pretty funny though.

This is a decent ending to the episode.

I still vote for the man pony tail as being grosser than Nick's fake facial hair. Also given that Nick and I are supposed to be the same age I don't think he would have had an ironic mustache like that in college. It can only be ironic. 

Season 2 Episode 17: Parking Spot

Oh good more awkwardness..
Parking does suck in LA, which is worse because everyone has cars.
Is that Steve Agee on the hood of that car?
I didn't think Nick even had a car? Winston has that shitty SUV, Schmidt has a Ford Flex, Jess has some old hipstery car but Nick doesn't have a car I thought.
Hey its that lady from the Kiss episode, I thought Winston had moved on, I guess they have a casual relationship. This seems like an excuse to have a cute girl in her underpants.

This episode hasn't really offered anything interesting to comment on yet.

Winston forgetting a condom is a pretty lame plot point. This episode feels more like a rejected Friends plot from 1996.

How does anyone not know what mazel tov means?

Really, Winston should be mad that they made him do this plot line. Wasn't this the plot of Booty Call featuring Oscar winner Jamie Foxx as Bunz?

"Ill never tell" made me laugh a little.

The weird off is making me hate this show.

Oh yeah that's nick's car. I think that's its first appearance.

Didn't Schmidt hear about them kissing last week or was that just Winston? How much longer are plots going to revolve around them talking about Jess and Nick kissing? You either have to have them hookup or forget about it, this middle ground is pointless.

Apparently the lady in her underpants is named Daisy.

They are in a parking lot, why didn't Schmidt pee in the corner, wouldn't be the first time that somebody has done it.

Okay "Blah bleh bleh" made me laugh. Also Schmidt's face after the kiss was pretty good.

Wait Winston got a new car?


Pretty average episode.

Season 2, Episode 16: Table 34

Im interested to see how they handle the aftermath of last weeks Nick/Jess kiss. I had kind of assumed that there would be some kind of mid season break after last weeks episode to let the tension dissipate a little both for the show and in the minds of its viewers. From the promos I have seen though they are going the opposite route and focusing on the aftermath. While it might be incredibly awkward I think its better than picking back up at a later point and not dealing with the immediate ramifications of the kiss. I guess it will depend on what they do with it.

Its kind of hard to judge this show the same way I usually do. While I didn't love Nick's moonwalk escape I thought having them immediately run into each other was a good choice. It would be too easy for them to just avoid each other completely and have two separate stories of awkwardness. That being said that's what I expect for the rest of the episode.

Mojo man dance was okay.

Jess talking and not letting Cece talk is a little sitcommy, but the flashes out are okay, I liked Nick breaking the knitting, that seemed very real and easy to do (note to wife).

"You look like a character from the Love Guru", "Oh, thank you" was a pretty good exchange.

I don't like them making moon walking away a "thing" for Nick. It was a decent way to extricate himself from a situation but to have it be a go to is too much.

I shouldn't have but I laughed at the nut shot. People made fun of America's Funniest Home Videos but everybody loves a nut shot.

I'm tired of this Schmidt chasing Cece subplot. I don't want to hear Schmidt talk about them having sex anymore, regardless of manufactured catch phrases like "Blammo that happened."

I also don't want to see Nick be mean.

So the lady Winston hooked up with last episode is just gone and he becomes the mojo man? The lady from last episode seemed like a good thing for Winston, although since I have no idea what her name was maybe she doesn't deserve this kind of consideration.

That table didn't look that strong.

The couple switching thing wasn't that funny, it just made me feel sorry for the lady trying to talk to Schmidt.

"Hes in such terrible shape you could have killed him" was a good line. I feel that way today after too much Thai food last night.

This is a good way for David Walton to leave the show, he had a good run but that was probably enough.

No no, not a big public speech, please no. I hate those. Well it was short, and he dropped a microphone, I do like that. Ladies as beautiful as Cece don't usually get ignored and left in a corner however, so unbelievable.

Despite the annoying guitar music I liked the ending with Jess and Nick. I have no comments on Schmidt and Cece.

It was an okay episode.

Season 2 Episode 15: Cooler

While the taffy pull line was okay I think the concept of anyone talking about such activities to their friends is unbelievable. Masturbation is only to be discussed jokingly or as a means to mock another person through words or gesture.

I also am tired of the concept of guys having some sort of game to get ladies. I'm old and married so maybe I'm out of touch but do people actually go out and act differently in hopes of "hooking up" (as the kids say)? Maybe I can understand not going out in a huge group or something if you are trying to meet someone new. I guess people do meet people in bars sometimes - Naomi I know you are reading this. Still after a recent marathon watching of HIMYM I find the concept of guys "game" to be weird and too sitcomy. Also HIMYM is remarkably misogynistic once you get by the sillyness and shitty laugh track. They think they make up for it by making Ted Mosby "sensitive" but hes as big a jackass as Barney he just isn't as honest about it.

Why would anyone want to go to a club, I would actually rather clean out my closet.

Oh man zany Jess at home alone.... I hate you New Girl. Also is Cece Jess' only friend other than her roommates  She just met her roommates at the beginning of the first season, what has she done for the previous 30 years of her life? Jess and Cece have nothing in common really, wouldn't Jess have teacher friends or a crafting group or something?

Nick still has a flip phone? Oh yeah there was an episode about that right? Why would that woman still be talking to them.

So the married lady came back to their apartment? I would not be cool with that if I was her husband. Call me overprotective but I don't like it when the wife picks dudes up in bars and goes back to their place.

Oh fuck True Americans. I still don't like it, do you hear me I DON'T LIKE IT!

How am I only 8 minutes into this episode? I really want Nick to take off that jacket.

True Americans seems even dumber and more inscrutable this time, Naomi I know you are still reading this.

That lady better turn out not to be married.

I hope this isn't the eventual Nick and Jess hookup that ruins this show. It seems like they probably aren't going for that, but it could happen. Actually if they kiss here and it's horrible and awkward I think it prevents or at least delays the eventual shark jumping. They could be going for something big though for the mid-season break though so this could turn out bad. Maybe Ill just unpause and find out.

This lady sucks.

That's right she isn't married, as I thought.

I like that twist, David Walton should make them kiss, best thing in this pretty crappy episode so far. I feel like they brought back True Americans as a cheap way to brighten up this one. It hasn't been a good three week run for New Girl, although this plot is better than Nick's con man father or Jess' student is a serial killer.

Oh shit, that was worse than them actually kissing. Oh so awkward.... Its like a knife twisting in my soul. It hasn't hurt like this since the Wonder Years.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! That was as bad as it could have been.

The frowny face on the melon was funny though.

Season 2 Episode 14: Pepperwood

Another week another New Girl.

I fully support the creation of the annoyance bowl. Its a nice way to remind me Jess is annoying to others not just me.
I feel like the freak out over Cece accidentally bumping into Winston and his dick was a little overdone. They aren't teenagers.

I saw this murderer plot in the previews for this week - while watching The Following which takes a decidedly less madcap and whimsical approach to covering the topic of serial killers by the way. I don't know about this plot though, seems like a bit of a reach. New Girl is about the overstating of mundane problems. Much like last week this seems too much like an Always Sunny episode. "This week on Always Sunny: there's a murderer in Dee's acting class which Dennis decides to investigate. Charlie gets mad at Mac for accidentally poking the waitress with his dick...". I think a show shouldn't stray too far from their core competencies.

I'm okay with the direction they are taking the "Pogo" plot. Everyone has insecurities about people talking behind their back. I got my eye on you jerks.

Im not a fan of accents. There hasn't been a funny Chicago accent since the Da Bulls sketch. RIP Chris Farley, have some class New Girl.

Haven't seen Nate Corddry in a while apparently because I don't watch United States of Tara or Children's Hospital (which reminds me to watch Children's Hospital).

You know I saw the Schmidt eyebrow thing in the commercial too but it still made me laugh. He really sold it with the smile. Of all the strange things about Schmidt toenails wouldn't be the thing people talk about all the time. Worrying about Nick works though.

I don't really have any comments on the end of the episode, it was fine for what it was. I hope they get back to what is good about this show next week though.

Season 2 Episode 13 - A Father's Love

First and aside - Actually Fox I do believe what I have been missing on Glee, and I will keep on missing it. Hulu has the worst ads.

When the New Girl gang played True Americans I made my feelings on the matter known, however now they are playing a very reasonable and easily understandable game and I am let down, I'm sorry I am so fickle. Feeley cup looks kind of fun, although like a kids summer camp game. On TV though if people are drinking beer its adult and they are getting wasted, so I guess that makes it adult.

They better tell me whats in that cup... I feel like I could tell duct tape.

I don't like Jess talking in old timey talk, its annoying. Im glad it ended fast.

Dennis Farina is looking pretty old. I think older celebrities should put on a little weight to fill out their wrinkles. When they get really skinny they look like an empty bag of their former self. Im looking at you Al Sharpton.

Dennis Farina is going to hit on Jess? That's what I'm predicting, and then she will flirt with him back, but eventually get grossed out. Maybe not though, hes being all sincere now.

I don't really feel the need to comment on Schmidt dialog anymore unless its something outstanding or noteworthy. I'm not saying its bad, but it is what it is, its funny and people like it but its all pretty similar. This was pretty average.

Im not sure I would have made Nick's father a con man. I would think Nick would have more drive to be something more than his father was if he had a dad like that. I would have assumed that Nick's family was very successful and thus his lazy life is a rejection of that. Although this way we get a scene at the track, so that's okay.

I think Schmidt stalking Cece is pretty lame, but its funny Robbie is there. A little too "Something About Mary" but a little twist on a predictable plot.

I hope they do a good job of explaining why Dennis Farina needs Jess for some con, because right now it seems a little thin.

Okay there's a good line of Schimdt dialog "I suddenly feel an empathy for Pakistan"

Since Jess has no money how is she investing in a horse? Again, a little thin.

Okay I also laughed at "Monsoon Bedding".

I'm not overwhelmed with this episode overall, while there have been a couple nice moments I find the Dennis Farina as a con man sucking the gang into things plot line to be way too out there. This feels like somebody was writing a script for Always Sunny but couldn't make it funny enough so re-wrote it for New Girl. They didn't even bother to change the name of the old guy to something other than Frank. I feel like the Schmidt and Robbie sub plot was written for Mac and Dennis, thus there had to be two of them.

I did like that the Russian guys just busted out with the Russian song, isn't that from Tetris?

The touching ending isn't helping by the way. This should have ended in the parking lot, these scenes are painful. This really didn't require the Very Special Episode ending.

S2 Ep 12 Cabin

New Year New Girl

A couple weeks off and a new year may have dulled my enthusiasm for reviewing New Girl. Plus this episode has had nothing noteworthy so far.

Gross I didn’t want to see Nick’s armpit.

Sleeping on a bear rug sounds a lot better than it actually is I would assume. Bears are not made of tempurpedic foam and seem like their hair is pretty scratchy. Sleeping on a kitten skin pillow seems way better.

I don’t know if I want to watch Schmidt do uncomfortable racism stuff, they better do this in a new and creative way. They did this awkward plot with Max and Brad on Happy Endings too recently for me to watch it again. So far they are doing okay though. They have a good out when they set up a crappy sitcom situation they can flip it and make it a way for one of the others to mess with Schmidt.

That’s not a rifle it’s a shotgun. Continuity! I'm not sure I like someone playing along with Jess needing the can to have a back story. They have wisely gotten away from some of that crappy writing of Jess’s personality.  I'm guessing what happens next is either Jess is amazingly good at shooting, or Jess accidentally hits a bird/small mammal and is traumatized, or Jess accidentally shoots Nick or David Walton, or on an outside chance Olivia Munn, whichever though Olivia Munn thinks its awesome making Nick question their relationship.

Oh man when she pulled back like that I thought for sure she was going to hit a bird, my personal favorite prediction, a power transformer was a good twist.

I really thought this plot was going to go the other way when Olivia Munn pulled out the guns, that Nick would realize she is too wild for him, but it seems like Jess is the stick in the mud and David Walton wants to be more wild. They could still be setting this up for a hookup between David Walton and Olivia Munn, thus ending both guests’ run on the show, which would make sense I guess.

I have never had absinthe. I am 34, it probably isn’t going to happen.

Ribs are delicious regardless of race. I don’t know about Crack.

Glad to see I'm totally right on this call. I think they are being pretty critical of crazy strippers saying they want to switch partners. Just kidding I think they are being totally fair, some things are true.

Ha ha Perfect Couples was the show David Walton used to be on, see how that was funny and stuff. Maybe that’s just me.

This Schmidt and Winston subplot makes me want frozen yogurt.

“Crakakain” made me laugh a little. So did drunk Nick and the olive.

Now I really want frozen yogurt.

I have to commend New Girl on its ability to go to a really cheesy sitcom place and then pull it back to normal and still make it at least somewhat funny. People don’t usually talk honestly in sitcoms and so many plots are fueled by jumping to conclusions and not explaining things rationally. New Girl can kind of do both. Even though it means I was wrong about David Walton and Olivia Munn hooking up and both leaving the show. One for two isnt bad though.

Welcome

Welcome to my completely pointless reviews of New Girl. If you are on this blog you probably already know that I used to write these reviews on facebook but I decided to move them here to limit how wierd I look to all the people I know.